Title: Faint
Author: Eroticisms
Archive: Here and
here. Elsewhere by permission only.
Fandom: Dark Angel
Pairing: Max/Alec
Summary: What is left once the hate fades away?
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Not mine. I'm only playing with them in my head for a bit.
Max hated him. Hated everything about him from that first moment he walked into her cell stating ever so calmly as he took his shift off that he was her breeding partner. She stared at his bare chest for a moment, and if she had been in heat all bets would have been off because ... damn boy be fine. She hadn't been in heat though, and she hated him. He got on her nerves just by being in her cell. He got on her nerves just by existing. He got on her nerves by having that face.
It only got worse when he escaped with her only so he could make sure Logan died. Then he was his usual smart aleck self once Manticore burned to the ground, and she made it her mission to help the transgenics she could. That one group of kids had been special, and he wanted to bolt. She knew that. They always seemed to meet back up. She had saved his neck giving up the money she needed for the cure so that his head wouldn't explode. She had so many reasons to hate him. Hate single thing about him, but ... oddly as time passed on she really didn't.
He was one of the few like her that could understand. They were the same. Made the same. They even thought the same sometimes. She still had moments where she wanted to wring his neck, but sometimes she found herself searching him out. She had told him about Ben, and that had been some kind of turning point in their relationship. If you could really call what they had a relationship. It was like/hate at best. He knew it too. He knew how she felt, but he didn't stop. He didn't step back. He didn't give her the room needed to hate him. He was always there.
Once they took over Terminal City, it only got worse. He was by her side. He had become some sort of co-leader. People looked up to the both of them. Logan was around, but the virus was beginning to wear on their currently non-existent relationship. Sometimes she caught Alec looking at her like Logan used to, like Logan still did. He still wasn't over her. He probably never would be. He wouldn't give up. There had to be someway to cure him, so they could be together. With each day that passed though, she began to even hate Logan. He would never give up, and with each passing day she did.
It had just happened. She needed touch. She needed his touch, and that was the one thing she couldn't have. Max knew it wasn't her fault, but she even hated herself for it. Renfro had used her to get to him after all. If she hadn't escaped that night and exposed Manticore for the hell it was, things would be so different than they were now. She heard footsteps nearing where she sat, but she didn't even bother to look up. Here in Terminal City they were all relatively safe. This was their turf now after all.
"Hey, Max. What you doing out here all alone?" Max couldn't help but recognize the voice. It was Alec. One of the sources of her recent contemplation. She felt him sit down next to her, but she still didn't say anything.
Instead, she sat there in silence for a few more long moments. When she finally spoke, her voice was soft. "You know, I really used to hate you. You were just so damn infuriating. You always had an answer for everything. Always had a comeback ready and waiting. You were more trouble than you were worth, and ... every time I used to look at you, I used to see Ben. You have everything he had. The same looks." She turned her head, her eyes meeting his for a moment before she glanced down at the ground between them. "The same eyes. You're nothing like him though. That is what made it easier to deal with you."
The man sitting next her sat there silent. He was wondering where this was all coming from. The feelings she spoke about had been certainly mutual in the beginning. She had been the one that led to Manticore burning to the ground, even if it was Renfro that gave the orders. He'd had a pretty good thing going back then, but Alec knew he had an even better thing going now. It just took him awhile to realize it. He was pretty used to the life he had at Manticore. Place to sleep, food to eat, work that he sort of enjoyed. What more could a guy really ask for?
He had all of that now though, and he had people that looked to him for the answers. That was something unexpected. He was the one always following the orders, but now it was him giving them. They just weren't exactly orders because they were all in this together. Terminal City was their new home. Not a bad place if you asked him. There was only one problem. The one he wanted looking to him wasn't. He didn't want Max to look at him like a leader. He wanted her to look at him like he had seen her look at Logan. He hadn't been seeing her look at him like that in awhile though. Not since that night she had told him about Ben.
Something had changed that night between them. He finally got to see past the armor and tough girl exterior she held everyone back with. Underneath it all, she was just a scared girl. She'd kill him if he ever said that to her, but underneath all of them were some scared kid. Even him. Of course, he'd kill himself before he would ever admit that to anyone, but it was true. Either way he would end up dead. What was the point?
Alec shrugged his shoulders a little. He wasn't sure where Max was even going with her words, but he could play along. "Yeah, well I hated you too. You were behind Manticore going up. Back then that was home. Fucked up as it was, it was still mine you know?"
Max bit her lip a little, nodding her head slowly. "Yeah, I know. I didn't get that at first, but now I do." She sighed, glancing up at him again. "I haven't hated you in a long time. In fact, sometimes I..." She what? She wasn't even sure. She knew in recent months she had started to feel differently about him, but she didn't know what that meant. He wasn't like Logan. He was almost the exact opposite of him in fact. "Forget it."
Max moved to get up, but Alec wouldn't just forget it. For a moment there as she sat there looking at him, she had seen something flash in her eyes. For one split second, she had looked at him like she had looked at Logan all those months. Maybe he was seeing things. Maybe it was wishful thinking, but if he were right then he wouldn't just forget it.
He pushed himself up from the ground, grabbing her arm before she was too far away. He turned her back around to face him, just looking at her. That same look was in her eyes, and there was no mistaking it this time. He pulled her closer, her body flush against his. He saw the look change as she became confused, but he didn't allow her to think long before he lowered his head, his mouth covering hers. He heard her startled gasp, but she kissed him back. Her arms slid around his neck, and she kissed him like he had always wanted her to. The kiss only ended when they both needed air. He opened his eyes, and hers were still closed. He reached up, his hand pushing a piece of hair that had fallen down onto her face to behind her ear. "I haven't hated you in a long time either. Sometimes I ... I would see you look at him, and I would just wish you would look at me like that. Just once, and tonight you did."
Max laughed a little, shaking her head. "Don't you dare get sappy on me, Alec. In fact, just shut up and kiss me again." She wasn't sure what any of this meant. She never thought he would feel this way. She never thought she would feel this way. She really didn't know how she felt, but she knew if he kept kissing her like that she wouldn't have to worry about how she felt, she would just know.
Alec laughed himself for a moment. "Yes, ma'am," he whispered just before he kissed her again.
